Monday, December 19, 2011

Review on first chapter of my book plz?

There is some nice description here and some good structure, however I agree with the other person who commented and said it's more showing than telling. Also, I think the reader is introduced to too many characters, too quickly. I'm confused with all the names that are being thrown around, especially when women's former surnames are added to the mix. Perhaps you could start with the main character's first memory and then a bit of factual stuff.

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