Can I sue my ex-employer for accusing me of stealing when I didn't & how do I start with no money for atty?

Tough to defend yourself without money, huh? However, if an attorney feels you have a strong case he or she will file for damages for a percentage of money awarded (generally 1/4 - 1/3). Defamation of character, discrimination, loss of wages, loss of future wages among other things could end up being a substantial amount of cash. Haven't you seen those commercials on tv by lawyers, "Have you been injured call us for a free consultation?" You'll need those so-called tapes. Tell the attorney they wont let you see them much less give you copies. He'll have to motion for discovery and a judge will order the tapes and other relevant material turned over. If your guy is clean as you say he is your on your way to trial for civil damages.